I see my future.
Dark and sad, but with a lot of hope. Burning the bridges of my bonds and keeping nothing. That is how I see my future.
My name is Komnidki; a young man full of aspirations and dedication towards my talents. I know what I’m good at and in all honesty, I’ll be sticking with it until death brings me apart. It is how I bring in money and how I stay productive. The stares of disgust and disappointment are nothing to me. Opinions of others will never phase the way I am.
Right now, it is a cool autumn night in the urban environment. The noise of the city stays awake even throughout the twilight. When the sun sets, that is when I begin. My work requires a lot of focus and time, so in order to not cause suspicion, I work when the moon does. Street after avenue, the road brings me to my destination. One deal to the next. My grams bring in the checks.
Riding the subway is my favorite portion of the night. It gives me a time to relax and open up the pages of my notebook. Pen to paper, my talent rises. I am an artist. One that specializes in almost everything revolving around the embodiment of art.
With the way I live and the household that I am in, I have to hold faith in myself. That is the only way I’ll be able to achieve the goals I have set for myself. They are out of the ordinary. A set of goals that don’t include university or following the path of a certain trade. In the end, money is all that matters. That is what my mother and father taught me, so I will never forget this.
Sometimes it seems as if they hold no faith in me; or think that I am too young and too reckless. In truth, that is all correct. But I never forget. I am young, but I aim my goals high in order for me to fight and actually earn the achievement. What I genuinely want from all of this, is to acquire the happiness that has been of shortage in my life. I have everything, but the smile that forms on my face is false and forced. So, the only way I see me getting a grip on this happiness, is to do what I want.
It is hard starting the process though. I’d have to leave everything behind. A bag and a car, that is my starter package. How do you get people to understand you when what you aspire to do is not necessarily normal? A road to happiness, is a road full of sacrifices, making mistakes and pain. To find my purpose and being content is what I’d have to learn.
I thought a certain path would show me, but when finally figuring out it was a mistake, it was too late to back out. Until I actually got an opportunity for a clean slate. As if someone or something was hearing me. Giving me another chance to find the road that I’m looking for.
That is how I am back here. Back to the way I was before. Working every night towards nothing. A void of destruction and pain for others. Myself being the one to provide them this void.
One last deal for the night, then it’s time for home run. Abandoned building as always, with fiends creeping in and out. The sight of this is the destruction and pain I was referring to. A life of misery and addiction. Their garbage life is my treasure is all I force myself to think of while conducting these exchanges.
With the buyer being a frequent client, I wasn’t too worried. Should go by quickly too. Product forms to cash. Tipping it off to five hundred this night.
Shoving the bag in his jacket pocket, he looks at me with desperation and animosity. Confused, I shrug it off and turn around to walk out.
“I have a message for you.” he said with haste.
I stopped and gripped the handle to my firearm that was hidden in my coat.
“You’re done. Worthless and empty. Faith has been lost on you and you’re… done.”
The sound of him running at me caused me to turn around and pull out my pistol. But it was too late. Right when I was about to aim and shoot, his blade penetrated my abdomen.
I dropped everything from the shock. With the quick seconds that went by, he stabbed me forcefully another few times, making his way up to my chest. After his deed was done, he let the bloody knife fall and ran out.
Falling to my knees, I started losing my sight and my breathing dying down slowly. The blood spewing out from multiple wounds on my body. Feeling the light in my eyes vanish. This was the end. I thought to myself one last time.
I see my future.
Dark and sad, with no hope. The burnt bridges of bonds in ashes. There is nothing and no one in my life anymore. That is my future.
I’ll teach you pain.
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